So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
