I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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