I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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