glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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