I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
