There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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