how can u be prego again
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
