There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
