Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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