if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
