you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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