I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
