Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
