I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
