Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize