you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
