We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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