You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
