You work out of a Hotel?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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