Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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