Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
