I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
