the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
