some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
being pregnant is like rehab
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
