Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
