That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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