and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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