bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
