"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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