i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The uberlube is also flammable
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
