I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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