i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
