i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
