You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
