Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
