Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
