so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
