you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this just has baby written all over it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize