I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
