genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
