no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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