Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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