Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
