Will you blow on my dice?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize