I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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