she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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