how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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