dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
