I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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