careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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