I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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