Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
