My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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