Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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