u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
