It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
