i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
