dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
